Understanding My Teenager (And Myself)

We all want to belong and be recognized, but this desire changes with age. For example, children want to belong and be accepted in their families and their schools, the most important thing for them is the approval of their parents. But in adolescence this perception changes because for adolescents the most important thing is to be recognized by their peers, that is their friends.

In adults also happens, suddenly we are very interested to be important and recognized in our respective professions. In this way all human beings, we begin to walk our strategies to belong and to be recognized according to the perceptions that we have of ourselves, of the others and the world and this can make us fall into inadequate behaviors because we do not always know how to achieve it.

For children, entering into puberty and adolescence is significant because they will soon begin an accelerated process of changes at the physical, emotional and sexual levels. They will also begin to live their process of individualization to discover who are far from their parents. This easily invites rebellion and put to the test all that is said to them, because they question by seeking new answers or a reason for being to things that already established.

Added to this, the pre-frontal cortex of their brains undergoes rapid growth, causing some confusion. In this way, they may misinterpret the body language of parents or those around them as aggressive when in fact it is not. That is why it is so difficult to communicate with teenagers looking like we speak in different languages.

To achieve a more efficient and loving communication, this must be taken into account in order not to fall into power struggles with the children and to understand what is happening as a natural part of their growth.

Getting involved in controlling everything in a teenager’s life is a mistake in which parents often fall frequently. They try to prevent their children from getting into unfortunate situations like drugs, unwanted pregnancies, etc. However, this form of excessive control (even if it has a good faith root) only invites the adolescent into rebellion, because he understands his parents’ control as suffocation, a lack of confidence in his abilities and an invasion of his privacy.

For this reason (and although very difficult), it is essential to convey the message that parents are on their side, that they trust in their abilities, that they have the channel open to communication and that they will be with open arms for when they need your support.

Educate with love and respect to help them in the successful transition from their adolescence to their adulthood for them to live a wonderful and healthy life.

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